Today, I Turned Down Chocolate

OK, maybe "turned down" isn't entirely accurate because I believe that in order for me to turn down something, it first needs to be offered by someone.  

This chocolate was more just existing. Existing ever so demurely in the corner of a common area at work as if to say, "You can have me. If you want. Do you want me?" So I guess maybe I was right before when I said I turned it down, because that shameless chocolate was offering itself. 

One Valentine's Day years ago, when I was a kindergarten teacher, a student brought me a huge box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. I'm sure you've seen them around - the round chocolates with nuts and the hazelnut cream center? I was excited, because you know how much I love sweets. I couldn't wait to have one. I may have even opened them in my classroom after the kids left that day. I hurriedly unwrapped one, excited for the treat I was about to have. I took one bite, and I remembered. 

I hate these things. 

They always look so good, so enticing. But I really kind of hate hazelnut. So, naturally, I did what anyone would do. 

"Did you throw the candies away?" you ask. No way! "Oh, then you put them in the teachers' lounge so others could enjoy them, didn't you?" I hear you think. Ummmmm, no. "Well, then surely you donated them to a worthy cause?" That's a negative. 

Any addict will tell you - even subpar product does the trick. Just like a true seeker isn't usually too particular about the exact form her fix takes, so am I rather un-picky about how the processed sugar makes its way into my belly and brain. So if I didn't get rid of them, what did I do with them? You guessed it. 

I ate every last one of them. 

And that's no isolated incident. Last Halloween, after all the "good" candy had been scavenged, I was sneaking Mounds and Almond Joy out of the box that was stashed high in my bedroom closet, just because I needed something sweet. I ate them with a grimace, because I hate coconut even more than I hate hazelnut. In fact, one year when I was very young, I flew into a very uncharacteristic rage at my birthday party because I thought I tasted coconut on the cake. With such a hatred for coconut, you'd think I'd be able to find something to do other than hide in my closet eating coconut candy bars 3 weeks after Halloween had passed. 

I tell these anecdotes for a couple reasons. First, I think there are many people out there who can relate. And second, because the candy that beckoned to me with its siren's call today? It was a single, solitary Ferrero Rocher. 

And I Turned It Down.